Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
