i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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