I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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