I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
