I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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