Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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