he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
