Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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