my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
