i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
