Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
