Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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