Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My bed smells like the plague
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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