He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
