You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
