I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
