And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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