gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My first STD was from a foam party
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
