i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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