She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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