He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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