dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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