Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You took a bar mat shot.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
