Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
