So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm having to shit out rocks
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