oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
