I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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