I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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