I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
