Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
