Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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