I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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