It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
