My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
