my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
