you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
