If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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