I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
