He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
