K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
