We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
