I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
