but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
