those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
