i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
