He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
