ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
