Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
