I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
