next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
