I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were trust falling into bushes
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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