im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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